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How Honest Are People? December 5, 2006

Posted by Unreasonable in Matters Humorous.
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Paul Kinsella dropped 100 wallets in public places to see how many people would return them. The wallets contained $2.10 in cash and a phony $50 gift certificate with his phone number on them.

Wallet Test Results

He breaks down the results by race, gender and age. The results are here.

There’s also some pretty funny recordings of people calling to redeem the gift certificates. #93 is great. Kinsella tries to keep the inebriated would-be redeemer on the phone as long a possible. At one point Kinsella starts asking him quiz show questions, and he really tries to get them right. Kinsella keeps him going for 25 minutes. Here’s a few highlights:

What is a light year?

1935

What is an arachnid?

1941.

Very good.

Well I had to pick my brain.

How many millions are in a billion?

Just one.

On a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being the least honest and 10 being the most honest, how honest are you?

10. Cause I don’t lie. I’m a Christian.

What is a thesaurus used for?

It’s used for surgery.

You’re going to have to come up with a more specific answer than that. What sort of surgery is it used for?

A lobotomy…?

Yes. It’s used to lobotomize turtles.

I knew that!

How many times a week do you masturbate?

Uhh…

This won’t be held against you. This question will not be held against you. I promise. You have my word. It will not be held against you.

It’s OK. Maybe… uhh… every three weeks.

We’re going to have to ask the Judges… No! I’m afraid they don’t like that answer, and it will be held against you. I lied sir.

Why? Why are you holding it against me?

Sir, I’m the one asking the questions here.

::J-Walk

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